My Journey

Intellectually I understand

2011-02-22T21:13:00.000-08:00

Tonight, I'm synched in with God
When I finally
Decided to get sober really
Over two years
Ago, one of my biggest
Fears was that my trippy God would now be missed

Intellectually I understand
God was with me at my worst and
He is constant
I am constantly
Experiencing God, but

Spirituality
Was my drug trip
that constant conscious contact whenever
I was with my Pi Om sisters and the Deadheads
I was with my God and he spoke loud

No doubt. But tonight, God pulled
the veil back. Not that I have ever
Doubted, but tonight God pulled
A miracle

Even though I could spend all day and every
Night kicking it with my man,
He had a
bunch of homework
Due tonight

and so I left his house to
go home and...?
I prayed earlier and that synchs
me into God's will (I
mean, I don't
think we can ever weaken those links)

But it reminds ME that my
life is not mine
God's running the show
Apparently,

facebook is aligned with the planet Venus
Because it connected me
to someone
I needed to speak with. She's

suffering because of the
Disease. And
it's been so long since I felt that fear
of death for my
self that when I heard her,
I just wanted to pull her back from the edge.

I don't want to lose her. I don't want to
lose anyone, but there's something
especially
painful about
a sister that I shared my

soul and my demons with,
who suffered in
hell with me. I want her to join us
in this fourth dimension of happiness so
I reached my hand out and she received it. And

I pray to God only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. Bless her, Lord.

Day 5

2011-02-13T23:06:00.000-08:00

"I Invite"
by Elise Nicole

I feel empowered tonight
Being true to inner Light
I deserve respect, especially from
The man I invite to beat my drum

I wasn't getting it. I
Knew I couldn't just go get high
I expressed this to him, I was
Met with excuses ("I did that 'cause...")

arguments
I was so tired of
Being tense
I closed my love

The numb wore off and then it was
only pain and an anger buzz.
No longer that aching, raging,
fire anger that left with aging

Pick up the phone and call Nichole. And
Finally reach out to her outstretched hand
she was politely appalled. She spoke
Telling me my trauma was not a joke

Compassion
God's perspective, and True
Without sin
Concepts so new

Love that not only respects
Female surrender to nasty sex
but admires woman as goddess.
That is not what I have, I thought.

expressed that to him again
honoring the goddess within
No more fear-motivated bull
The truth without fear of the outcome

"Sounds like you
don't want to continue
together,"
he guessed correct

A cordial, polite, "mature" split
and then tears of utter loss. I
could feel my heart breaking. Feel it
Breaking apart, severed, and it hurt!

A tragic Valentine's. He texted
to say I am really sorry for
the way I treated you. Expressing
the respect he has for me and realized

He was wrong
and meant it. He honored
Lamented
but did not beg

He let me go. But now I
couldn't bear to say goodbye
And then he opened his heart and shared his
truth, his trauma. Not as an excuse

It was his dark hell. "I know
what hell is," he said, "and I don't
want to keep you in yours."

Day 4

2011-02-08T23:35:00.000-08:00

And then there was the time
When my boyfriend and I stayed up all night to fight and finally had to
Just go to sleep. It was a pretty bad fight, we're
Both passionate, sensitive, don't like it when
Our emotions get the best of us. I have to admit the ten year
Age difference makes him a bit more prim
In his manners than myself. This morning showed his shy self
And it just wasn't our
Usual love bubble. After trouble
In paradise, doesn't our

Love conquer all? I'm grateful that he was willing to pray with me
This morning and that God, as we each understand
God, softened our hearts. Craig bought me a delicious iced tea
in Santa Cruz and we rode our bicycles along the cliffs. Sunny, cool breeze finally won,
djembes, dijareedoo, a sweet doggy,
The living salt sea... Craig makes this sound like "daaaahh, man,
so rad!!" when something is too hippie for him to articulate and I guess it was!

Day 3

2011-02-07T00:33:00.000-08:00

Big thanks to J Wave for letting me know that my
Settings were tweaked! Becoming pro at my
Computer navigation and I figured out how I
Enable my blog's comments all by myself. A small fry,
Yet ultra satisfying, victory! My next fish fry
is my grandmother's 80th birthday party
Craig's grandpa inspired, I want hers to be hearty
Needless to say, she is very excited, which warms
my heart like nothing else...

Day 2

2011-02-05T01:04:00.000-08:00

Okay, so a few days have passed with no writing, but here I am! I worked the last three days and I guess, after massaging people for hours, I forgot all about my pledge to write everyday for the month of February. I don't really know why I'm doing this other than that I want to. I just ordered checks for the first time ever. I possess a natural resistance to anything financially superfluous and/or potentially hazardous including credit cards, television sets, and, yes, checks, so this is a big step for me. The icky smell of cigarette smoke is flowing through the vents in my house at this moment. Very unpleasant. Time for sleep. Well, time for a little Breaking Dawn via my awesome kindle closely followed by sleep! More to come...

Day 1- Women's Creative Collective writing workshop

2011-02-01T22:13:00.000-08:00

I almost forgot that today
Is the first day of foray
Into the unknown world of
Online thoughts being unfurled
Until I saw Julie Wave's post on my
facebook. The power of Om Pie
through Julie & Sylvia, my dear friends from...

USC. I didn't read the idea prompt, I'm just going for it...
I love to write, it's actually one of my greatest passions. I have always journaled from the time I was about 4 or 5. I remember that birthday everyone asked me what I wanted and I told them all "a diary" and I ended up with three! I was perplexed at the predicament of receiving this triplicate present, but my mom said I could fill them all and that's exactly what I did. I have had diaries and journals ever since. My mom swears she never read any of them and, you know, I actually believe her.

I don't know who might end up reading this. But incase you'd like to know, my name is Elise Babybird, I am 25 yrs old (I can't believe that!). Thirty seems much too close, but I know that I am exactly where I need to be. I live in a beautiful house in the Bay area with three other awesome individuals, I practice massage therapy, I studied filmmaking at USC and almost graduated... Just filled out my FAFSA because I am going back and getting my degree, probably from San Jose State or somewhere local. I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me and who I love.
That's all for today. Glad I did this. More to come. Peace.

Red Jamsran: a Buddhist God of War

2010-07-24T13:51:00.000-07:00

Mongolians, originally Shamanists (Nature worshippers), are now predominantly Buddhist. This handmade mask is Red Jamsran, a god of war. The word Jamsran, sometimes spelled Dshamsran, also means "brother or sister" in Mongolian.

Now that she escape, sleep walk awake, those who correlate underworld they take...

Tales from the Mongolian Crypt

2010-07-24T13:36:00.000-07:00

Psychedelic colors & patterns! And all of their shoes were made to point up so as not to tread too much on the sacred earth. The original hippie pixies!

Genghis Khan Occupies The Tech Museum

2010-07-24T13:13:00.000-07:00

This beautiful black painted script on red is Genghis Khan's name (pronounced Chingis) written in Mongolian. I have learned so much about Mongolian culture since this exhibit opened. The decor of this ger, a traditional Mongolian dwelling often called a yert, inspired the decoration of my bedroom.

In the 12th & 13th centuries, Shamanism was the major spiritual practice of Mongolia.

My dad's Thailand experience

2010-02-20T16:29:00.000-08:00

We need more of this!

2010-01-25T12:45:00.000-08:00

Goddess, please bring more acrobatic yoga love into my life! Thy will be done, not mine.

Saint Kitts

2009-10-20T14:53:00.000-07:00

Eastern Caribbean

Two Chicks Hike Castle Rock

2009-10-13T12:26:00.000-07:00

My new friend, Maureen, from Philadelphia was kind enough to accompany me on an awesome hike through Castle Rock State Park!

My biodiesel Mercedes Benz (AltheaAmbreLee) hung out in front of Indian Rock Trail.

babybird!

2009-10-03T16:10:00.000-07:00

The Lord blesses me always. Soaking up sunshine at Castle Rock State Park in the Saratoga Gap off Skyline Boulevard. Sunday, September 27, 2009 was the first of many regular Sunday hikes with my hiking buddy Maureen (she's from Philly!).

bubble mamas

2009-05-15T14:46:00.000-07:00

peaceful deadheads

She has no pain, like a child she is Pure

2009-05-12T09:18:00.000-07:00

Poised for flight, wings spread bright

fire poppys

2009-05-09T13:43:00.000-07:00

gettin ready for the show!

playin,
playin with The Band~

San Jose

2009-05-09T13:36:00.000-07:00

family

fresh

2009-05-09T13:26:00.000-07:00

Fire, Fire on the Mountain

the real hardcore

2009-05-09T13:00:00.000-07:00

I left the Caribbean on November 19, 2007.

Mi Familia

2009-01-20T10:37:00.000-08:00

Tahoe vacation

Pre-Obama January 2009

O'hana means family

New Year 2009

2009-01-18T18:36:00.000-08:00

O'hana means family...

PiAum

2009-01-18T18:22:00.000-08:00

Bird, Berry, & Greeney

Goddess folk GreeneyPaws & Strawberry drove all the way from the City of good ol Watts to commune with NorCal and SJ Bird! What an honor :)

Caffe Trieste

Search out the Light

2008-12-24T14:30:00.000-08:00

I Love my Life :)

saturday in san francisco

2008-11-19T20:01:00.000-08:00

me & lioness -photos by sister brittany

The Sunset is a Blessing

2008-08-23T20:51:00.000-07:00

Me and my family at home :)
We could all use some more hula hooping in our lives!
We thought these clouds looked like a magic oil lamp...

iLo Amo El Bosque!

2008-08-10T20:29:00.000-07:00

Drying Capri-Sun pouches I collected during six weeks of Girl Scout summer camp. I can dry 43 at a time (all the clothespins I have), but with the help of the campers, I collected somewhere between 150 and 300 pouches.

My roommate Anna & me in front of our kitchen's mural :D

Me & a banana slug in a Santa Cruz forest.

Day is done. God is nigh.

3 1/2 months free from alcohol!

2008-08-04T04:05:00.000-07:00

Thank you to the fellowships of Alcoholics Anonymous for saving my life.
I am so grateful to be alive and healthy.
The Lord is Good, Powerful, and Love.
In all things give thanks.
To God and the Lamb.

I Am an Eternal Goddess

2008-06-08T13:47:00.000-07:00

LET NO MAN TROUBLETH ME FOR I BEAR IN MY BODY THE MARKS OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST

Good Karma in my Past Life

2008-05-29T16:17:00.000-07:00

Goodbye, Good Karma Vegan Cafe! I will miss you so much. You've been so good to me.

As of yesterday, May 28th, 2008, I no longer work for Ryan Summers.

The past six months have been a wonderful learning experience andnow it's time to spread my wings.

San Jose Vegans Unite

Tighten Up

2008-04-05T16:30:00.000-07:00

the Forest

2008-03-03T23:39:00.000-08:00

Skyline to the Sea Trail

NorCaLove

Organic Reusable Menstrual Pads

2008-03-02T22:12:00.000-08:00

www.sorella-luna.com

I just ordered these organic pads (a pack of 3 regular and 3 super) for $40, including shipping!

Aquarian Valley, Northern California

2008-02-25T00:06:00.000-08:00

Me & Ryan & Strawberry & Erin

Vote for a GREEN President :)

2008-01-26T18:59:00.000-08:00

Check out www.gp.org

This is the only Presidential campaign that deals with the country's issues.

Sweet Potato Vegan Fries

2008-01-25T13:49:00.000-08:00

1 Sweet Potato

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 teaspoon Sea salt (or 3/4 tsp regular salt)

1/4 teaspoon pepper

Mix. Bake at 450 for 25 minutes. Thanks & praises.

Another Great Reason to Adopt

2008-01-24T15:03:00.000-08:00

Soraya's placenta

Welcome to the New Consciousness

2008-01-06T14:50:00.000-08:00

Taking it to a higher level...
2008 will be the first year I am freed from SlaveMaster Alcohol since I was 15 years old. I have eight days sober so far and am feeling extremely confident about it :) My first attempt at complete sobriety was June 15, 2005. I know that this time though, with the help of AA, I will emancipate myself from mental Slavery and on NYE 08/09 Jah will be waiting there. Thank you for inspiring me. Big Ups to Moma Moon & Strawberry Fields for being examples of Pure Meditation. Got to keep on rockin' on the road to Zion...

Thoughts Into Words...

2007-12-07T22:11:00.000-08:00

Companies that make disposable items need to be responsible for post-consumer (waste) managment of their product. For example, on St. Kitts there are several plastic bottle manufacturers, including Coca Cola, and not one of them takes responsibility for the environmental consequences. If corporations like Coca Cola want to build factories, they need to support recycling, reducing, and reusing of the products made at those factories. Governments should pass laws requiring this. We need to make big polluters take responsibility for the big problems they create and leave citizens to handle.

The government needs to support adoption. Currently, adopting children can be difficult & expensive (especially considering the alternative :) Our governments need to provide monetary incentives for adopting, as well as training and on-going support for adoptive and foster care families. Everyone birthing children is no longer sustainable.

You Can't Forget Your Past

2007-12-04T22:12:00.000-08:00

This morning, my friend Puck said goodbye after a short visit to see me here in San Jose. His visit afforded me a break from the monotonous job hunting and he had a few nuggets of wisdom to share. Now he's off on his adventures and I'm refocusing on logistical nonsense. It's always great to see a friend. Puck and I met 2 1/2 yrs. ago at Joshua Tree Music Festival 2005 and have learned many important lessons from one another.

This is me & Moma Moon, a sweet dulcimer artist & nurse from Tennessee who works at Vanderbilt Hospital with my Aunt Spring. We met this summer at Bonnaroo 2007. She sends me inspirational messages and prayers and makes dulcimers with her husband. I'm looking forward to grooving with her at 'Roo 2008.

Justin & Kathryn, my American neighbors in New Zealand. He's living in NorCal, too, doing web design, but I haven't seen him since NZ. Kathryn a.k.a. Frau Schmaterling was my tripp partner and tentmate for 'Roo 2007 (beautiful).

My Aunt Spring, Uncle Bobby, & cousins are an AMAZING hippie family. He was able to make 'Roo '07 (as well as 'Roo '05) and you can check out their family blog at http://www.ajoyfulhappylife.blogspot.com

Children Believe Dem Dat Everyting is Safe

2007-11-30T09:56:00.000-08:00

May today there be Peace within.

May you trust Jah that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possiblities that are born of Faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received and pass on the Love that has been given to you.

May you be content knowing you are a child of Jah.

Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the Freedom to Sing, Dance, Praise and Love.

It is there for you each and every one of us.

Yes, yes! Missing Ital Rasta Powa

2007-11-26T14:52:00.000-08:00

It's the Bird and the Rebel... So, Christian and his partners have been incredibly kind since I showed up a week ago. I have been readjusting to the weather and other climate changes, applying for jobs non-stop, and spending way too much time on the computer! Thanks Bobby & Spring, for introducing me to blogger.

Please pray that I'll find a job soon. Just trying to relax and have faith. I really need a massage. Serious! I think that will be my Christmas present to myself when I go see my mom in L.A.

Your Christmas present this year will be a more relaxed me, since I will have to use all my $ for the massage. Unless, of course I get a job before then,
I really miss my cuddle buddie, Taffy. Sweet puppy face. Of course, no one will ever take the place of my BFF, Maggie SugarMagnolia Muffin Lappin (shout out to Kairi & the cats...and the horses of courses...and Cocoa the pony).

Young American Alcohol Culture

2007-11-25T10:45:00.000-08:00

Last nite, I had the pleasure of attending a young woman's 21st birthday party. The birthday girl was a friend of my brother's.
Recently, in St. Kitts, I attended a Kittitian woman's 21st birthday party. There isn't really a legal drinking age in SK, so 21 isn't particularly special. She shared one drink with her sister. Kittitian women don't really drink. She sang Killing Me Softly at karaoke and called it a night. As the only American girl, I was the drunkest one in our group.
Jackie's celebration, however, was a house party of about 50 college students, all drinking. I do believe I was the only guest not drinking. People-watching was very educational and the night ended in a drunken fist fight between 2 boys. I was the DD for Christian's 3 friends, but Christian insisted on staying the night at the party house. On the way home I said I didn't understand and his friends just answered, "that's drunk Christian."

Solutions?

1. Closer community & family ties

2. Closer relationship with the land: growing

3. Greater respect for money, responsibilities

"Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is its undoing." -Bob Marley

SandyPointRasta

2007-11-21T00:56:00.000-08:00

Before I left St. Kitts, Rasta Man taught me to make real Ital food. Caroline & Marcie came over and made some delicious chunks with tomato sauce, yummy :) We ate with pieces of coconut and I saved mine. When I arrived from Puerto Rico to Texas, I used my coconut spoon to eat delicious Mexican food! It attracted interest and my Puerto Rican waiter said they do the same there. love4real

2007-11-20T12:01:00.000-08:00

...and so my Peace Corps service has come to a close and it was with a heavy heart I said goodbye to a beautiful community in Liumuiga. I am staying with my brother in Northern California while I look for a job and permanent home. Please pray for me and keep me in your thoughts this Christmas season. It is very cold here 17*C (63*F), but it's a welcome change. Thank you for all your support while I was on my Volunteer journey :) love4real, elise babybird

Ministry of Culture

2007-11-05T12:51:00.000-08:00

learning to speak with the djembe

This is Royd, THE best drummer on the island of St. Kitts and my private teacher. He volunteers at this local primary school teaching the interested kids how to play the Afrikan djembe drum. 15 of them will be chosen for a Carnival performance corps. Carnival is the biggest celebration of freedom in the Caribbean. This primary school has also requested my help reorganizing their library.

Recycle, Reuse, Reduce

2007-10-22T09:30:00.000-07:00

Recycling in St. Kitts!

I am one of 13 blessed Peace Corps Volunteers who arrived in the Federation of St. Kitts/Nevis on August 18, 2007. The country is 2 main peaceful sister islands in the eastern caribbean. We finished training and were sworn in on September 14, 2007. Currently there are no recycling facilities on either St. Kitts or Nevis. The director of the SK Solid Waste Management Authority is also a former Associate Peace Corps Director! There is at least one local brewery (Carib) on SK that encourages the return and reuse of glass bottles and one water bottling company (Island Purified Water) that does the same for plastics. There are no separation bins to sort recyclable items and so, the new landfill that they thought would last 15 years is almost full, uncovered, and extremely oderous.